Certainly not a new book but one which I’ve owned for years but just recently read through with my wife. This book is, by far, one of the best books on marriage that I’ve ever read. I wish I could say that I’ve fully applied all of the great insights in this book and cleared all the hurdles necessary to make my marriage all that God would have it to be. I cannot. What I can say is that what makes this book great is not necessarily all of the wisdom from Dr. Eggerichs. Rather, the power lies in the fact that all of the content of this book is based upon and drawn from The Book. Dr E. bases his entire body of material upon Ephesians 5:33. The need wives have for love is equal to the need husbands have for respect. When one mate or the other deviate from focusing on and fulfilling these needs in their spouse, there is trouble. As always, “…the way of the transgressor is hard.” (Prov 13:15). Indeed, we’ll never fulfill the law of Christ perfectly, but we will also feel the sting of transgression when we go our own way and start using approaches with our spouse that are not prescribed by God.
For years, especially in the West, men have endured the brunt of the over-reactionary feminist movement and taken a back seat to getting any kind of Biblical respect. Dr. E. tries to shore up that deficit and re-center the responsibilities of both the husband (to love) and the wife (to respect). As with most cultural trends, things have been swung to the extreme by expecting a husband to love without also holding the wife responsible to respect. If both (not one over the other) of these responsibilities, which are given to us by God in His Word, are taken seriously by couples and pursued with vigor, a marriage can avoid the heated conflict that lands too many in the divorce courts of our day. This is the thrust of the book. There are parts of this book that capture in words the exact thoughts I’ve had about our marital struggles. I take this as great encouragement to know that I am not alone and other men are struggling with precisely the same issues and articulating them in a way that puts words to my thoughts.
But, the author doesn’t leave you with examples of men who share your struggle and can commiserate with you. He unpacks the Biblical principles and commands to both men and women and lays out a plan to get your marriage back on track and functioning the way it was intended.
I highly recommend this book. I would recommend this over the last marriage counseling book I read and reviewed here. Get Love and Respect. You will be helped tremendously if you read it with an open mind, with grace toward your spouse, not reading it with an eye on everything your spouse is doing wrong and with a spirit of full reliance on God to help you learn and apply these principles.